a fervent and hopeful wish

My ultimate goal is to reach the state of mind so beautifully evident on this woman's face. That smile has a peaceful acceptance, a persevering innocence - all of which came through a life that you can bet has been rich with well-met challenges and still her happiness is boundlessly evident. To attain that mindset is my fervent wish...

Ezequiel Montes mercado sobre ruedas: portrait of a happy merchant ii

our naked words can be the richest pauper

My words are the mirror of my soul. I speak from a pool of thoughts and feelings that lie within me and always appear colored by my very own shade of self. Others see these words forming ideas about the world and the people around me and their shape is recognizable as my very unique perspective. My speaking reveals who I am and what the world and people look like to me through the eyes of all my previous experiences. The words spoken from my mouth are small versions of myself walking out in the world naked and baring witness to how time and living has shaped my being. 

Do we lie to others and to ourselves because we are painfully aware of the unavoidable and unbearable exposure? Do we pretend we can clothe ourselves, our most intimate secrets, disguised as words that don't truly belong to us? We pretend that we are covered and appear to others as what we are not when the fact of our true shape and color is always visible to any who honestly want to see or those that just can. 

The only clothing our words can carry are emperor's robes. We want to believe the fantasy that we can clothe our word. Others want to believe it as well and fool themselves into seeing the disguise. 
Not everyone can see the clarity and transparency of the situation, some times not even our own eyes, but the truth of our words is ever present.

We imprison our own minds with these false words. They can only be a wall that separates us from our true selves and the reality of the world.We can live free if we speak from our hearts and learn to shoulder the consequences and truly appreciate and become open to the rewards of the vulnerability of those true-colored words. 
 

arborskin gold

arborskin gold, a photo by citlali* (almost back...) on Flickr.

This arborskin, smooth and supple, follows every curve and hollow like a very long glove. The golden pattern mimics a cephalopod talking to another through changing shapes on it's surface or trying to make it difficult for an enemy to notice him. Either way, the design, the texture and the gentle, inviting wrinkles gathered around the various bends speak to me. It all whispers of the peaceful, charmed existence this zen giant lives surrounded by his golden arborskin clan. This soothing sight gives me comfort and tranquility.

Fairland Strav. Orphans -- a photographer's tale

Fairland Strav. Orphans I
Originally uploaded by citlali*

Criminal Neglect case 349j, exhibit A

OK, so I'm driving along a back road, behind a big railroad yard this time and I see a couch. Not that abnormal, right? I get out take some pics and move on down the road some more. What do I find about a hundred feet further? Hmm. Another couch. Ok, take pics, move on. And would you believe a hundred feet further from that I find ANOTHER couch??! yep. It was sad. All three orphans on the same road. So close togehter and yet too far apart to huddle for warmth. It just seems criminal. ; ]

Here's the other two sisters:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/citlalis_ocean/3866484539/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/citlalis_ocean/3866527555/in/photostream/

raining star

Originally uploaded by finsmal

A star blinks;
celestial petals fall.
Shadows bleed
over the edge.
The sky closes it's eye and
comforting darkness
lulls the world to sleep.

date night under the porch light

date night under the porch light
Originally uploaded by citlali*

"psst, honey -- don't look now, but there's a really scrumptious little snack right next to your ankle."

elephant

Originally uploaded by finsmal

The feeling of frustration was thick in the air, suffocating. Eyes darted from each other, repulsion, evasion. They looked away, not wanting to face the elephant in the room. It's impossible for either of them to feel anything but disdain in this shared inability to bring up the subject. Maybe it was clear enough. They were finally over. No amount of words would reverse it or even delay this fact: their only hope for happiness lay in the future, in separate worlds.

elusive

sun, sky and clouds
Originally uploaded by Fotopath

Open sky, cluttered.

Visiting clouds shove by;

curling, napping, crawling,

hiding the sun.

wistful

crash
Originally uploaded by (nz)dave

Thickly salted air breathes slower

into mindless shuffling steps;

sandy crumbles disappear

melting in a roaring sea.

caressing

little stars
Originally uploaded by setsunasky

Air moves swiftly over ground,

blades of grass folding.

Scent of petals floats

to a nearby stream.

Resisting water barely nudges;

rolling to the edge and

falling back again...

macro nude iii

macro nude iii
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

My mastercard moment: September of 2007, An Attempted Collaboration.

An interesting thing happened to me last September. I was invited to participate in a photo project. Exciting, right? I thought so. He asked for wide nude SPs, I offered macros and he agreed but kept insisting on "wider, wider". When he finally posted a macro it was altered to look like a porn close-up and titled sleazy to match -- refusing to use any identifying tags. I asked him to remove the photo and when he finally did he threw down some insults and then blocked me.

Lesson learned:

Make sure both parties agreen on EXACTLY what they want from the collaboration.

I call it my Mastercard moment:

Collaborating with a "friend" on a nude project: RISKY.

Finding out he really wanted more than you would offer: OBVIOUS.

Getting blocked by someone who turned out to be a jerk anyway: PRICELESS. = ]

revealing intention

macro nude iii
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

My mastercard moment: September of 2007, An Attempted Collaboration.

An interesting thing happened to me last September. I was invited to participate in a photo project. Exciting, right? I thought so. He asked for wide nude SPs, I offered macros and he agreed but kept insisting on "wider, wider". When he finally posted a macro it was altered to look like a porn close-up and titled sleazy to match -- refusing to use any identifying tags. I asked him to remove the photo and when he finally did he threw down some insults and then blocked me.

Lesson learned:

Make sure both parties agreen on EXACTLY what they want from the collaboration.

I call it my Mastercard moment:

Collaborating with a "friend" on a nude project: RISKY.

Finding out he really wanted more than you would offer: OBVIOUS.

Getting blocked by someone who turned out to be a jerk anyway: PRICELESS. = ]

dead, discarded, disregarded

100_9762 dead cone
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

My surroundings are different at this moment, different from those I used to have working along side my friends. This place is calm, quiet, lonely at times. I have a bed of gravel, dried leaves from the autumn past, fallen and forgotten now like me. They come and go, and some stay a while cuddling together in the edges and corners. The other part of me is nearby as well: my base. It kept me upright, tall, steady, making sure that the warning was clear to those driving by. My buddies stood next to me forming that line. Together we worked to keep others safe and out of danger. It was honest work. The big guys always took us all home at the end the job. They stacked us together and piled us on the truck. But one day during the project for this street Sam, the cat, ran through the line when he should have stayed out. The car driving by barely avoided Sam but hit me instead. The hit knocked me down and broke off my base. I couldn't be stood back up again, the injury was too severe and I was devastated. In the flurry of activity they shoved me, put me out of the way. I was not useful any more, my working days were over. That's how I ended up here watching the cars go by on the street I helped repair. The sun shines, the breeze whips by and my neighbors visit. Today I wait for Sam to come by, he's ever thankful for the day I saved his life.

basking

100_3435 basking
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

It's the sill at the base of the window. She's compelled to seek it out, to soak in the sun. It's a simple pleasure, that warmth, a feeling like few others. Basic. Instinctively it's part of a daily routine. That glass door to the outside world that in turn lets the heat in. Find the sill, find the sun. The yellow light shines in enveloping her in that ever so comforting warmth.

brand new day

100_1743 brand new day
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

It's a brand new day.
Sometimes I feel discouraged, exposed, brittle and trapped;
but today is a new day.
Today I can untangle, break free and start fresh.
Today is a brand new day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

May all your New Year wishes come true... = ]

MERRY Rhama-hanu-kwanza-solsta-mas EVERYONE!

MERRY Rhama-hanu-kwanza-solsta-mas EVERYONE!
Originally uploaded by Citlali *

To all my friends in BlogLand!!!

with love,
Citlali = ]

temp

Originally uploaded by dontaylor

replace


this is the original photo:

Originally uploaded by dontaylor

cetacean nights

Originally uploaded by dontaylor

They travelled long and hard over many different kinds of seas and oceans. Desperate to reach their destination, little time was given over to rest. One diversion was welcomed and enjoyed: looking up to the sky viewing shot by shot like a slideshow. Eyes up, dive down, eyes up, breathe, dive down. The moon was particularly beautiful that week. Clouds were painted blood red and the calm, glassy water reflected celestial drama. Between masses of condensation up high they looked for stars and kept the course. Only the softer storms had muddied the chart; landmarks supplemented. So it had been a good voyage this far and caution dictated they stay on watch for signs of a true tempest, sure to come. No matter, they would make it. It was going to be the most important spring of all.

To all my friends...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
Originally uploaded by Citlali257

Have a safe holiday everybody! = ]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Citlaly = ]

the dandelion eclipse

Autumn 08
Originally uploaded by BOB008

The sun shone in the morning, right on time. She waited long enough in the warmth to feel it in her toes; much food needed to be gathered and brought back home. The dew had long vanished and vibrant heat fueled her efforts. Then a sudden cooling of the air and dimming light warned her senses. She looked up and found the star hiding behind the largest dandelion she had ever seen. It was an incredible sight she beheld in the flower's bristling seeds: a rainbow had emerged and it danced, circles of color inside each other, sparkling. Such a thing had never happened before near her hill. That moment of joy suspended in her mind forever made this day unlike any other...

Peace

Snooze
Originally uploaded by Ottie

My soul feels peace;

my eyes are set on the sleeping dragon.

The shapes of the reptile, elegant and lithe.
Does he dream of clear waters and lush trees?
His somnolent dignity betrays no ambition.
Perhaps his fantasy lies in the simple bliss of now.
I watch the lizard smile at his own quiet revelation.

My soul feels at peace;

present in this green moment.

Cynical Indulgence: ambiguity's epidemic

Originally uploaded by dontaylor

I ponder the state of my world, shattered, myred in gross ambiguity, and wonder how it came to be. Does evolution, the seemingly degenerating nature of our bodies warp our mind into morbid indicisiveness? Or is it a learned behaviour, passed down, a product of our childhood environment that shaped us into big, soft blobs of paralyzing fear and doubt? Whichever way this societal desease developed it's now at the full-fledged pandemic level infiltrating every corner of our society, affecting persons of all walks of life. What can I do? Pick up the pieces one by one, starting with myself. I can commit to being more decisive and taking action on the side of what's simply right. Simple common sense, courage and action -- one person at a time...

...serenity of mind...

Sulphur Tufts on dead wood
Originally uploaded by Tommie IJsvogel

Mr. M. Schreum, anonymously gathered with his fellow recoverees on the southern stump behind the hill every Thursday night. They shared their hardships, a few snacks and at the very end a great big group hug -- his favorite. It almost made him glad of his troubles. Almost.

closed

Originally uploaded by finsmal

That place that starts out wide open, welcomes the world. It's a place deep inside and yet accessible to all. In the beginning.

It grows and becomes stronger with age; sometimes with love and other times with strife or sadness. Sometimes it takes shelter to protect itself and sometimes it even closes up completely. It's tough to open up again.

If we're lucky, a thief comes by unannounced and cuts the chains open in a torrent of love. And if we're even luckier -- we learn to unlock it ourselves...

waterscape

FOVICKS III
Originally uploaded by jbushnell

Her body lurched in her seat as the torpedo hit and glanced off the side of the boat. At full speed it was barely staying ahead of the improvised artillery their fomer captors were shooting at them. As she looked behind her into the rushing water she could scarcely see what looked like comets falling, the bubbling white trails of matallic munitions. Their pursuers followed a short distance back, their aim hampered by the dark, the storm and the wake of the boat they followed. Now she looked ahead and hoped they reached the safety of the harbor before it was too late...

the sun, the water & the fish

Spawn
Originally uploaded by Leenda K (on the road)

Early morning schools of fish travel up against the current. Juniors are happiest for this daily distraction. They chase the slowly filtering light bouncing on the surface. The shimmers touch and disappear, jump and return, playing with the moving liquid. The trout seem to dance and follow every maneuver.They are discovering the joy of sunrise.

underground

Originally uploaded by finsmal

I rose to find that the sun had not come up before me and wandered in the house reaching for the elements to wake me. Sitting comfortably watching out the window, my patience paid off when I saw the morning star. It came up like a bursting shadow crawling over the rough texture of the cave walls. My dark friend had come out to meet me and set the day right. This is life, underground.

latching on

Kitchen garden
Originally uploaded by Mexicanwave

Negatives and positives of all kinds swirl in the air around us. Positives seem airy, light and fleeting. Negatives seductively look more solid, more comfortable, more true. Why is that? Do I expect reassurance, reinforcement of the pessimistic beliefs I already hold on to? Is that true? Is it enough? Why are negatives easier to believe? There's so many reasons. It seems familiarity is appealing enough and after all the collection of negatives is so much bigger... It's a self-perpetuating circle. Essentially and most importantly the fact is that these thoughts and beliefs are the ones latching on, shaping the internal landscape. Is freedom from this collection of enslaving, disabling mental shackles desirable enough? Yes. I can let go.

new days

Caguama @ Mazunte, Oaxaca
Originally uploaded by Don César

She swims above the sandy floors catching dinner, avoiding sharks. Many days are the same, many nights. Then the invitation came. She would change her ocean for one across the galaxy and would have a new life, new days, new friends.

a piece of me

lime
Originally uploaded by lala-happy

Whatever became of that piece of me? That piece that feels like it's missing, like I want it back. Will it come back to me? Will it fit ever again...

playing with fire

Originally uploaded by dontaylor

During the worst day of conflict I tested the very limits of my courage. Flying through the fire they rained upon us, I dodged flames and smoke to deliver the message to our troops. The warmth came right though the plane, my feet could feel it. So much searing heat. I cut a path and prayed they had finally exhausted their bombs. They left the land scarred and battered, singed black.

rust mingles

Originally uploaded by dontaylor

The mass of orange-red gathers atop and overflows, oozing off the edge into the silver abyss...

blue calm

Visit Wu-Chung (山水五城)
Originally uploaded by Matthew Fang

Ahhhh, the night cools, the fog rolls in. I love this time of night. We had fun, drank, talked, laughed until we didn't think we'd hold together any more. Then we laughed some more. Now the air is damp, fresh and the morning begins to show itself. It's wonderful, this feeling, peaceful. I relish the blue calm.

enveloped

to the point
Originally uploaded by twistedtigger

Because it must be. Layers and layers of cardinal folds. They weigh on each other. Her present must be special, she must know that I love her, that she herself is special, to me.

Glimpse

Corrugated sky
Originally uploaded by © Mystro

He looked up and waited. Longing for the sun. The only glimpse he had of the outside was framed by wire thorns, cold concrete and these clouds won't move away. It's light, he tells himself. Light filtered through the clouds. The sun will show itself soon.

toni's nap

toni's nap - straight from the camera
Originally uploaded by Citlali257

It's a green world Toni lives in, filled with water and leaves. He rests nestled, comforted, trying to blend. The hiding place makes him feel safe and he sleeps for a while. What do fish dream? It might be red and blue, red and blue, and very green. It's his own little world.

dragon flight

alternate, rust and cement: solarized "dragon"
Originally uploaded by Citlali257

The huge, flapping wings move the air. He rotates and looks at his land from every angle, checking, deciding. Today is a day like most others -- he must eat. So he looks over his territory and spots his meal. It's a beautiful, bright trout swiming up the creek toward the mountains. It's big as far as trout go, satisfying. So the dragon swoops sideways and gets an angled view of the scenery, goes in for the hunt. Fold the wings, take a dip, sushi's on the menu today.

momentary

way-on-green-water
Originally uploaded by riisli

This is the path he takes. He takes the path to a place in his soul. His mind guides him over the vibrant green water when he needs to relax. Mmmm, serenity -- at the end of the trail. If only for a moment...

stranded

the blues spot
Originally uploaded by catchesthelight

Walking along the beach today I found a big rock. It looked strange and upon looking closer the evidence was clear: a poor jellyfish had gotten stranded after the high tide and dried in the sun - leaving only it's shadow...

dreaming

summer days
Originally uploaded by setsunasky

How long since I left my house and came to the park? It felt like days. They had a ferris wheel, a carousel, lots of cotton candy. My head was swimming with the amusing delights. Oh, yeah. I remember now. I was on my way home, passing my favorite tree, when I decided to have a nap. Ha. I think I'll stay just a little longer.

my pulse quickened

Originally uploaded by tinrabbit

I wondered what this figure wanted, this dark formless thing. Somehow the questions that normally came weren't coming. Why can't I see it's face? Why is it changing shape? No. I just knew it wanted something, something from me. My body knew. It wanted to run and stood frozen.

soul ascending

Originally uploaded by tinrabbit

She felt herself pulled and lifted, warmth wrapped around her and worry was the furthest thing from her mind...

The devil's abacus...

FormenHDR1266
Originally uploaded by myoakforest

Counting the souls one by one...

At earth speed

Provincetown Abstracts (III)
Originally uploaded by jbushnell

The wind picked up the dregs of the harvest, the trees, the land itself. Our fields became the sky.

Welcome...

Nervosa
Originally uploaded by nomm de photo

A new soul steps into hell as it tangles itself into layers of burning smoke.

They couldn't believe it...

Salar de Uyuni
Originally uploaded by DanielBosma

When the snow fell on the desert they wouldn't believe it -- couldn't believe it. But the rumors would not abate and gradually they came to see for themselves. Finally they had all gathered together by the cliffs, the entire clan, to overlook the miracle...

My favorite view...

Micro forest
Originally uploaded by kenneth together

I come here every morning, at the edge of our hillside village to look over the edge. Our green valley -- my favorite view.

It started with just one, I swear

I IZ EATIN ON MA BEWWY
Originally uploaded by Lollie Dot Com

But I couldn't stop and now my belly's so full I can't possibly move until tomorrow morning.

MUST have it...

cRosSinG LinES
Originally uploaded by ronald koster (LOWONLANDS)

Water. We will, we must keep going across this wasteland until we reach it.